231

New camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DSLR-style!!!!! Merry happy cwistmas to me.

232

The makins of shabu-shabu await voracious consumption on the cart beside our table.

233

Aw, Chris' first snowman. One of his students made it and brought it to school yesterday. He saved it in the school freezer until he could put it in his own freezer. The eyes are made out of sharpened graphite from a pencil. The arms are tiny weeds. So charming.

234

So last night I ordered Korean food delivery, like usual, from my usual delivery people. They know my voice (or maybe they labelled their caller ID for my number with "Stupid Waegook (Foreigner)") cause when I order, they don't even ask for my address any more. It's pretty awesome. But tonight I was feeling adventurous, and ordered something I'd never tried before, simply because I could read the name, and its picture looked very similar to my favorite thing they make, very spicy mushroom & beef soup (yeoukaychang) with rice & kimchi on the side, so hey, why not? 20 minutes later, delivery dude was at my door, ready with my order. I paid him, then immediately tore into the plastic wrap to find out exactly what was contained within the mystery bowl of food. It was kind of like that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when they're eating all that *ahem* exotic food, and the lady sticks her spoon into her soup, and all the eyeballs float to the top. Except my bowl didn't have eyeballs, it had 1-inch tubes of greyish, hollow digestive organs. I'd ordered spicy intestine soup. I tried one piece, but it was a little too chewy for my delicate palate, so I immediately fished out every last piece of some poor animal's digestive tract and deposited them into my food waste bag.

235

A Zooga From Africa word web that a bunch of 9-yr-old Koreans came up with ALL BY THEMSELVES. *sigh, tear* I am so proud.

236

237

Mewwy Chwistmas!

238

Yeah, this be the hallway. And the door to Happiness.

239

Enough cardboard to keep a collector-Ajumma busy for at least five minutes.

240

Not creepy. *shiver*

241

Innovative uses of garbage in the women's washroom at Yeongdeongpogu Office Station.

242

Preparing for the Santa Song & Dance thing on Tuesday and Wednesday. The Korean teachers taught them some booty-shakin, lawn-mowin, Cabbage Patch moves.

243

Last Friday, my coworker from Guam experienced his first snowfall. Bah humbug.

This is my street; that truck is selling eggs.

244

Fish Market.

Sean's.

245

"Alex teacher my mom said Alex Teacher is so fanny and beautiful and me said ha ha. ha mom and me Alex teacher is so funny and beautiful.

Alex Teacher I like Alex Teacher and I happy see you and have your help and Alex mom and Dad so beautiful and cool

I love you

from Alice

to. Alex"

(from Alice, age 6, Berkeley class, on a note in a bag full of chocolate and mini tootsie pops)

translation:

"Alex Teacher, my mom & dad think you're awesome and want to pay you millions of won to privately tutor me in your spare time. But if you don't have time, they understand, and will still think you're funny and really crazy because you sing and dance and make weird faces in my class and get me to learn English by making me wear your giantess clothing. Ha ha! ha. Those slippers were really big! Even bigger than my dad's! I liked the colorful skirt the best because it had so many colors, but you let a boy wear it instead of me, but that's okay because he made all the kids and parents laugh and they would have just thought I was really cute for wearing an enormous sack. I mean skirt. Ha ha. ha. Oh, and my mom said your parents are probably really attractive and cool because you are so crazy, and the only possible outcome of having attractive and cool parents is a crazy offspring.
Okay! I love you! See you in class on Monday! PLEASE don't make me sing that goddamned song about the reindeer and do that absurdly uninspired dance. I hate it more than the blue Power Ranger, but less than Brian from Berkeley class. *heart*

Love,

Alice

246

Finis.

247

"Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?"
"If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
"Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog."

"I knew the $64,000 question was fixed. There's no way anybody could know that much about opera!"
"He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat."
"Wagon Train's a really cool show, but did you notice they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training."

"Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?"

248

I don't like your peremptory* tone, stupid sidewalk advert (mostly cause I don't understand where you're telling me to run).

*Today's Word of the Day, from Anna Karenina, in Kindle-format. I can look up strange words instantly! Then write them in my very small flash-card notepad, then try to use them correctly in the 365!

249

Kristin's Korean barista's interpretation of a cappuccino.

250

Sometimes, against my wishes, it snows in Seoul.

251

The inaccessible bench.

252

Each building in Seoul is required to furnish its exterior with an original sculpture.
Dude's back is on the same plane as his board! Mad quad strengths, yo!

253

My favorite Engrishee on my favorite 1,000-Won coffee mug (made in China):

"ELEPHANT: A Elephant has a long trunk

CROCODILE: A Crocodile has a long body and strong jaws

GIRAFFE: A Giraffe has a long neck

LION: A Lion has a magnificent mane

OSTRICH: A Ostrich has a beautiful double eyelid."

253

Yeoju litter.

254

In these parts, even the trees wear, uh, neckwarmers. Or maybe they're shin guards, and the emaciated Korean Ents are geared up for their next football match.

255

Rainbow Fun Kids School native-speaker class Christmas tree (in progress).

256

Lola & Bobo, aka Sophia & Peter, adventuring in the toy maker's closet, trying on clothes and running away from snakes that look like jump ropes.

257

The last afternoon sun thine eyes will see; the last leaf hath fallen. For 2010, anyway.

258

Somewhere in Bokhansan National Park hikin with the Hannah. From this vantage point, approximately 1/83 of the sprawl that is Seoul is visible.

259

Dear Stalkerbook Behind-the-Sceners,

Though I appreciate the suggestions accompanied by each Reason for Leaving, the one that applies to my chosen Reason doesn't really apply; I opted out of most notification emails when they first became a nuisance some years ago. Don't get me wrong, I heart checking up on my "friends" from back in the day (and "friends" from last night) as much as the next Stalkerbook fiend. It's just that I have quite the laundry list of skillz I hope to acquire sometime in this life. (Un)Fortunately, turning into a zombie while in front of my netbook, refreshing my newsfeed every ten minutes and obsessively making sure I look passably funny/attractive/strong/interesting in other people's photo albums isn't one of them.

As an ESL teacher in Korea, my down time is quite rare; I'd rather savor each second I have outside of my 10-hour work days dodging 3-foot-tall kindergarteners and 5-foot-tall adults partaking in more productive, more satisfying, more fulfilling activities. Such as composing actual emails, or even handwritten letters on cards I've made out of photographs I've taken. Or updating my blog. Or faster F-to-C-to-G-to-F chord changes on my ukulele. Or studying GRE vocabulary. Or making plans for The Next Chapter. Or finding a cure for HIV. (Okay, the last one was kind of a joke, but it being the day after World AIDS Day and all, just thought I'd throw it out there, cause it'd be really nice if someone could finally figure it out.) I think you get the idea.

I'd always threatened a dramatic departure, but lacked the ovaries to actually click "confirm." Finally, FINALLY! It seems, today is the day to free myself from thy chains. And now, on to other things. Like an evening stroll to the market to replace my three(!!)-days-gone dish detergent.

Cheers!

Alexandra F. Williams

PS -- I'll most likely be back eventually just to, you know, save all my pictures... n stuff.

260

Somewhere between the building with 150 chattering elementary school-aged Korean kids and the room with all the heavy stuff.